Surviving #Broomchallenge (and other tinges of madness)
Updated: Oct 21, 2020
I would love to know who started this: Apparently, someone was able to convince a goodly proportion of the planet that your broom (yes, the thing used to sweep floors) can balance upright without any visible support.
I am glad to say that I was blissfully unaware of the broom-balancing-act-thing gripping the planet and was only made aware upon coming across a BBC news report.
The fact it made it into the BBC World news slot was in itself awe inspiring but for all the wrong reasons.
Notwithstanding the obvious time-wasting exercise of trying to balance one's broom (I wonder how long it took, on average?) my mind turned to the possible reasons why a broom was chosen for this instead of, say, a chair or perhaps a camel?
Was it the relationship with the occult? Witches were once believed to have zipped about on these rather flimsy pieces of household item - Which raises interesting possibilities about mid-air collisions during the busy coven season. One can see the headline:
CRONE CARNAGE !
NO HARPY ENDING AT ENCHANTRESS MEET
There is shock and dismay this evening as news leaks out that two of the most prominent covens in recent occult history have suffered a mid-air collision 3,000 feet above the New Enchanted Forest. Details are sketchy, but initial reports suggest that what was initially intended as a symbolic fly-by went disastrously wrong when a competing coven tried to out-do the stunt. It is understood that the fly-by was planned following a stunning win in the 'Most Despicable Hellion' Contest during Hagfest 2020 - Ghouls, Gals and Grimoires!
A local woodsman has come forward to describe events:
“ I were mindin’ me own business, like...you know, choppin’ wood an’that when I did ‘ear a great big ‘whooshin’ and I stopped me choppin’ and I stood up and I said to meself ‘Now what in all of creation is a-makin’ that racket, I said to meself, I did and then there were this noise like the noise yous gets when you splat a rat or something suchlike w’ a hammer – you know, like ‘SPLAT!’ Then next thing I know there be all these black birds come a tumbling through the air and I says to meself ‘that b’aint right. S’not Crow season! Then I sees that these b’aint Crows but ‘ats! Big-uns too! Witches ‘ats...’
This reporter has been to the scene and can testify that a large assortment of pointed black hats strew the forest floor and adorn every tree like some gigantic black Christmas decoration. Of the witches themselves, I understand that identification will take some time. The head of the WCA (Witches Coven Association) released a statement early on which read:
“Enquiries are ongoing at this time, but we understand that during the early hours of the morning two covens converged at high speed in mid-air. Due to the ferocity of the encounter it will take some time to tell which witch is which.”
I have to say that I did try the balancing act earlier today.
It failed miserably and my real, honest opinion is that if you really want to try something stupid you have to go a long way to beat #Broomchallenge !