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  • Nick MacIneskar

Surviving Lochgilphead skate park

Updated: Oct 21, 2020

Let me tell you a joke – it goes like this:

How long does it take to get a skate park built in Lochgilphead?

Answer: Forty years.

No, it's not Lochgilphead skate park!

Yes you are right - it is not remotely funny is it? But what even less funny is that it is actually true.

Because, you see, the little town of Lochgilphead in Scotland where my children go to school has been after a skate park for about the same amount of time that someone invented the BMX bike. Well, when I say the ‘town’ I actually mean the children residing there.

Since the 1980’s they have petitioned sought funding and practically begged someone to build this facility so they can actually have some fun for a change. And the adults, bless them, have kept their hopes up all this time by kind of hinting that one will be built anytime. Very nearly at some point not too far away in the future. Possibly...

When that particular future will manifest, however, seems to be infinitely distant. Because as I write in the year 2020, forty years after the first youngsters did their best to get someone (anyone!) to help them, the Lochgilphead skate park is still a dream.

There is apparently a plot of land for it, though. Yes, a children’s ‘organisation’ was given, yes given, about £155,000 to buy land and property. The first thing they did was to buy their own building (fair enough I suppose) and with the rest they bought an adjoining piece of land, and announced that this is where the skate park would be built. It was in the paper and everything (Lochgilphead skate park) Kids rejoiced.

Yay! Party on dude!


Well, no, not just yet...

This was in 2018 and do you know how much of the work to progress the skate park has been undertaken?

Niente; nada; nil; zilch; zippo.


And when I enquired as to why the patch of land is still just a patch of land without anything on it I received a response that felt like someone blowing fluff into my face.

It didn’t make sense; it didn’t stack up and apparent ‘facts’ were, not to put too fine a point on it, slightly on the wrong side of inaccurate (this is me being politically correct)!

Our kids are desperate. They have little else to do in town. There is no youth club where they can hang out and do teenagery things (yes I know, I just made it up) without little old ladies having hysterics. There is a sports centre and a swimming pool, sure, but the thing is they are for, you know, sports. Youngsters don’t always want to be chasing a ball around or getting various limbs beaten on the waterlogged shinty field. Sometimes they just want to chill.

Someone once said to me ‘Oh, well – they’ve got the loch, haven’t they?’

The loch...Oh, yes loch Gilp; frigid for 10 months of the year and with a tide that recedes about a mile out to sea several times a day. Oh, and with not a boat in sight - unless you count the private yachts in Ardrishaig harbour. Perhaps they could go snorkelling?

They could, of course, hang out at the public toilets – after all it is under cover. Or possibly spend the day in the Lochgilphead medical centre waiting room - after all, everyone over 60 seems to.

So, as I said, there is nothing for these kids to do. You would have thought we would be giving our youngsters a bit more fun, wouldn’t you?

But I am afraid that whatever else is great in Scotland’s rural towns (and there are a great many things to celebrate about this beautiful country) it is most certainly not holding children in high regard.

Rather, it would seem that those who are in charge of local policy want to ensure anyone between ( oh I don’t know – say about zero and 18 years of age) is treated like something on the underside of one’s shoe. At best they are treated as if they are all little criminals in the making who couldn’t look after themselves if they tried. So there is a plethora of ‘support services’ and ‘information events’ about the need to never go near alcohol, pick up a cigarette or how to have safe sex (not necessarily all at the same time).

The fun police visiting lochgilphead


I can just see these kids queuing up to be bored to death by some old fart sporting a frown.

So let me be a mouthpiece for the generations of children who have come and gone in the little town of Lochgilphead in Argyll:

Please will someone finally remove the blight of forty years and build Lochgilphead Skate Park?

Thank you so much.

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